It’s easy for people to criticize and judge you based on limited information or perceptions they have. They don’t know the full story of everything you have been through in your life. Maybe on the surface you look like you’ve got it all together and you really haven’t had to struggle for much of what you have. Some people are apt to feel resentful that life seems to be so easy for you. But the reality might be that you have had to fight for every scrap of success you have achieved.
People are also quick to make assumptions about why people are where they are in life. For example, people might have the impression that you are unmotivated, lazy, or incapable of doing better – which may not at all be true. Maybe you haven’t been able to live up to your fullest potential in life yet, simply because you have had many struggles and challenges that have held you back. Or maybe you have been dealing with an illness people don’t know about.
Regardless of the current reality, when someone is criticizing and judging you, it hurts. And when they minimize the battles that you have had to fight throughout your lifetime, you might feel compelled to set them straight. Or at the very least enlighten them with the truth and justify your current position. You might point to the struggles you have had to work through. Or try to change their opinion of you by making them see the situation from your perspective.
The problem is that such justification rarely, if ever, changes anyone’s opinion. Most of the time, they have already made up their mind about you, and anything you say will probably only cause them to dig in their heels and resist seeing the situation, and you, differently. And the truth is, some people are just content to be critical of others because it distracts them from how they feel about themselves.
Rather than trying to change their mind, accept that they don’t know the full story, and they don’t need to know it. It’s not your responsibility to convince anyone of anything, or to change their opinion of you. Only you know the unique circumstances that have brought you to where you are today. Only you know the struggles that you have had to overcome, and you don’t need to justify any of it to anyone.
When you stop caring so much about other people’s opinions of you, you begin to see the disturbing truth that some people have made a career of criticizing others. Why? Because they feel better about themselves when they are peering down from a position of superiority.
However, an interesting thing happens when you stop caring so much about other people’s opinions of you. Your own level of self-respect starts to grow deeper and stronger. You start to develop a stronger sense of appreciation for your own resilience and tenacity. You even start to feel a sense of healthy pride about everything you have gone through, all of the battles you have won, and everything you have achieved in your life up to this point. And you feel this even if others might not see it.
Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. The only opinion about you that matters is your own.
