On some level, I think all of us struggle with moderation. It doesn’t even matter what it is. We can all become addicted to things that ruin us. Never before have we had pretty much instant access to things we want – food, sex, drugs, shopping, etc. They are all just a click away these days.
A couple of month ago, I posted an interview from Be Inspired of neuroscientist, Dr. Andrew Huberman. He talked about how the problem we have today isn’t pleasure itself, but the instant access and minimal effort needed to get it. He made the argument that a good life is a progressive expansion of things that bring you pleasure through motivation and hard work.
In thinking about my own struggles with moderation, I’ve discovered that whatever it is that I eat or buy or whatever, it really isn’t about the actual thing. It is about the feeling I associate with it. For example, I recently discovered that our local grocery store carries Carvel ice cream cakes. Wow – we are thousands of miles away from home and now we can get Carvel here! Yay! But I have found myself wanting to buy these small ice cream cakes every single time we go to the store.
For me, it’s about the feeling I associate with the smell and taste of it. And it took me thinking about what is really driving my feelings to figure it out. The feeling I associate with it is my childhood (Carvel is big in New York, Connecticut and New Jersey) and feelings I had of less responsibility and freedom as a kid. It also reminds me of times spent with my family doing things in the summer months, then walking inside a Carvel shop at night for some ice cream. Ah, nostalgia. You’ve done it again.
For me, slowing things down and understanding why I became obsessed with these cakes at the store helped me understand my feelings better. And more importantly, it helped me create other ways to experience those fond memories and feelings associated with them without having regular servings of ice cream cake. But you know, for my birthday, I wouldn’t object to a Carvel cake – just saying.
