It’s human nature to seek a sense of security, and like many other people, you may sometimes get caught up in a futile pattern of trying to control the uncontrollable. There are many ways you might do this, such as trying to influence the actions or behavior of other people or trying to arrange your life in such a way that you feel fully in control of everything around you. Maybe you even believe that you can’t be happy unless everything in your life is exactly the way you want it to be.
Have you noticed that the more you try to control the outer conditions of your life, the less control you seem to have, and the less secure you actually feel? That’s because your attempts to control the things outside of you are coming from a mindset of fear and powerlessness. In a very real way, you transfer your power to the people and conditions around you. If those conditions are not the way you want them to be, you won’t feel comfortable or happy. Obviously, anything outside of you – on the external – is not a reliable source for your happiness or empowerment, especially since people and situations change constantly.
When it comes right down to it, the only things you ever have full control over are your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Nothing outside of you can make you feel vulnerable and afraid unless you allow it. No matter what the people around you are doing, and no matter which challenges you may be facing at any given time, you always have the ability to turn within and reconnect with your true power. Only then will you feel a genuine, stable sense of safety and security, regardless of what is happening around you.
Reconnecting with your true power is as simple as removing your focus from anything that makes you feel out of control and returning to the awareness of your own inner strength and security. The next time you are faced with a situation that makes you feel nervous or uncomfortable, immediately turn your attention inward and be present with any feelings of fear, discomfort, or vulnerability. Recognize that these feelings are coming from a belief or perception of your own powerlessness.
Remind yourself that you are never truly powerless, and you can choose to reconnect with your inner power in an instant. Say to yourself, “I am safe, I am secure, and I reconnect with my inner strength now.” Immediately, you should notice a feeling of calm come over you. Even though nothing outside of you will have changed, you will feel more stable and grounded within. Last year I wrote a post about how you can build up your resiliency. You can find it here.
Over time, as you keep practicing the feeling of inner security and stability, you may be surprised to notice that life begins to reflect back to you more and more situations that strengthen your sense of inner security. You begin to appreciate change for the opportunities it offers, you begin to focus more on positive expectations rather than negative, and you become more flexible and adaptable when facing uncertainty.
Best of all, even when things around you are not the way you wish them to be, you will still feel a sense of peacefulness because you are no longer basing your happiness or comfort on anything beyond your control.
