You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. No one can be 100% consistent with matching their words to their actions 100% of the time. But you should be able to see a pattern with them that reflects a good amount of consistency.
I often say that it is important when someone hurts you to pay attention to whether or not they continue to do those things. It’s hard to stop getting mad at the clown for being a clown and start asking yourself why you keep going to the circus.
If someone knows that they are hurting you and they continue to do so, their actions say it all. What you have to do is decide what you are going to do about it. Are you going to continue to stay in that situation? It’s okay if you are. Maybe whatever there doing is tolerable, even though it hurts, and you’ve made the decision that it’s worth it. But maybe you’ve begun to outgrow the circus.
There are many reasons why people choose to stay in situations that they have outgrown, too. Certainty is a big reason. Sometimes having children together are, or your financial situation. For me, it was my own insecurities that made me stay in toxic environments for far too long.
But what I do know is, is that we cannot afford to live in potential of what we could be or the life that we can have for the rest of our lives. At some point, we have to make our move. And I can tell you from years of experience that staying in an environment where you are constantly hurting will erode not just your self-esteem, but everything about you. And it will take a long time to heal yourself from it.
Are the people in your life consistent with their words and actions? Are you consistent?
