There is a lot of science that talks about the connection of memory and time. And as humans, how we view past experiences are going to be unique to us. Often times, it is hard for us to remember exactly what was said to us or what was actually happening around us, but a memory of it is formed based on how it made us feel. And we can carry those things with us for a long time.
For example, when I was very young, the coast guard had to come out to rescue me and my family on a boat in Long Island Sound. I was three or four years old and my memory of it is so spotty, perhaps from the trauma of it. I didn’t grow up fearing the water after that. My mom insisted that when I learned how to walk, I would also learn how to swim because she was always afraid of me falling into the family pool by myself. In the summer I was always in the pool or lake.
What I do have now, though, is an anxiety about being out on the water. If I can see land from the boat, I am fine, if not, I feel a little nervous. I don’t even like the idea of flying over the ocean. The funny thing is, where we were in the sound where we were rescued, land was visible in the far distance.
I wish I could remember exactly what happened so I could feel less anxiety about it all, but those memories seem to be lost. I am just left with the feelings from it.
Sometimes we don’t remember things, not just because of time that has passed, but because to us, that moment in time meant something different to us. School bullies are such a great example. The bully at school will likely not remember what they did to you, like you do. You see, the axe forgets what the tree remembers.
To the axe, it was just something they did in seconds and is relatively meaningless. But for the tree, the effect is devastating.
