Our thoughts can be our worst enemy. When we refuse to be open to new ways of thinking and ideas, we limit ourselves. We get so stuck in our own belief system and believing that we are right, that we prevent ourselves from expanding our knowledge.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that my favorite conversations are ones where I disagree with the other person’s perspective. I love those kinds of conversations because my own beliefs are challenged. I either gain a whole new perspective and see what I believe differently, or I improve my ability to express my beliefs effectively. In any case, it is always a win for me.
The danger in not challenging our beliefs is getting stuck in confirmation bias. Our brains and egos naturally seek out data and information that validates what we already believe. We look for proof that what we believe is real. If we refuse to challenge ourselves and what we believe, we will constantly experience the same thoughts, beliefs and experiences.
Train yourself to be in a constant state of learning. When I think of the Star Wars universe, I think of the Jedi and how a Jedi’s training is never really over. They are always learning, even after the Padawan is knighted. Look at others and what they have to say as opportunities for you to learn new things.
Recently my husband and I got into a philosophical debate about whether we are living in a simulation. My initial feeling was that we weren’t. And I still don’t know how I feel about it but listening to his arguments as to why we could be, definitely got me thinking. And it has been on my mind ever since, which I love. I feel like that conversation challenged what I believe and I’m still thinking about it.
Here are some additional ways to overcome the same thinking and confirmation bias:
- Be aware of any biases you know you have. Seek out information or people that challenge those beliefs.
- What are the things you are defensive about? Sometimes defensiveness can be a form of commitment. When we have committed to a certain path and we will defend it to the end, even if it doesn’t make sense anymore. This is the sunk cost fallacy.
- Remind yourself that you’re purpose here is to always be evolving. What you believed 10 years ago might not fit where you are in your journey today and that is completely okay.
- Get comfortable with disagreements. Seek out people who disagree with you. Actively listen to their point of view, with the intention of learning something from them.
- Ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask people what led them to believe something or why they feel the way that they do.
