When you are fearful, you become more ego focused. You want to protect your ego at all costs. A great example of this is in romantic relationships when we fear our significant other leaving us or becoming interested in someone else. We turn into horrible versions of ourselves, filled with insecurity, suspicion, and distrust. And we end up creating exactly what we fear the most, because our behavior pushes them away.
To me, healthy love is a competition in generosity. You see, when you show up in your relationships without being focused solely on what you will get out of it, you are less ego focused. You don’t have all these expectations for your significant other and you come from more of a place of abundance mindset, rather than trying to control the relationship to soothe your own fears. As much as you know you need to protect your own heart, you also know that the responsibility of love is to keep another’s heart safe.
When we come from a place of fear, we feel a sense of lack and enter situations with a scarcity mindset. So naturally, we are trying to fix that, but it comes at a great cost.
When we stay rooted in our own fears, we begin to create these expectations from others or from life in general to make us feel better. And like Shakespeare said, expectation is the root of all heartache. The danger of this kind of mindset is that you start living your life from a victim mentality. And when you’re fears dominate your relationship, it will stagnate.
So how can we shift our thoughts into a more abundance mindset?
1.) Every morning before you start your day, write down three things you are grateful for and why. If this is the only step you take and you do it consistently for a couple of weeks, you will begin to rewire your thinking to approaching the day with more of an abundance mindset.
2.) Stop being a passenger in your life. What if I told you that life wasn’t happening to you, but it was actually happening for you? You can attract exactly what you want in life if you know it’s happening for you. Be intentional and seek out what you really want. Once you become intentional, you will begin to see paths to what you want that you never even knew existed.
3.) Embrace change and see it as an opportunity. When you are open to change rather than fearing it, you open yourself to things you never knew were possible. Remember that life’s magic happens outside of our comfort zone.
4.) Have a learning and growth mindset. When things don’t work out as you expected, see it as an opportunity for you to learn and grow from the situation. Just because this one thing didn’t work, doesn’t mean nothing will. You just learned that this way isn’t the best way to achieve your goal.
