This quote was coined by author George R. R. Martin and is also attributed to Game of Thrones character Arya Stark. The series Game of Thrones was adapted from Martin’s epic fantasy series, A Song of Ice and Fire.
Fear is a powerful emotion. It feeds stagnation and keeps us from realizing our full potential. We avoid taking risks and we miss opportunities. And if we don’t learn how to master our own fears, we will be limited by the prison we create for ourselves.
There is a huge difference between fear and danger. Fear prepares us for danger, but danger is an action – something that presents a very serious potential outcome of harm. This could be an action you take, or another person takes against you, or just simply being in a situation that is dangerous.
Fear is not an action. It’s an emotion. It might prepare us for potential danger, but it is a feeling about something that has yet to happen. And its intensity is so powerful that it can impair and skew our judgment when determining what is truly a threat.
What are some clues that your fears might be running the show?
- You only see the downside or negatives of a situation. Fear fuels all the what if things go wrong and what if I fail kind of thoughts.
- Fear wants you to avoid things that are new or “unknown”, again focusing on the all the potential downsides, rather than upsides.
- You aren’t growing as a person. Fear stifles any expansion of yourself. Instead of taking a chance on making a move, like a taking a new job or asking someone out on a date, it encourages us to avoid potential failure or rejection. Then we end up rationalizing why playing it safe is the best play.
- You find it hard to trust your gut instinct. Fear clouds our ability to trust our gut and build a stronger sense of our own intuition.
- You find yourself stuck when it comes to decision making or avoiding making a decision all together.
