I am a firm believer in the idea that we can chart our own paths and the environment we were born into doesn’t have to define who we are. But there is something to be said for our experiences when we are children and how we perceive the world.
Like sponges, kids absorb all the experiences they have when growing up. They are easily shaped by these beliefs. For example, if you were told that the sky was orange growing up and there were no challenges to that belief, you would believe it. Why wouldn’t you? If the adults around you say it is so, it must be, right? But they are human and flawed in their thinking as all humans are.
We all have different perceptions of what is, based on what we were taught to believe. When I was a kid, I believed it was quite normal to yell when fighting with my family. Because we always fought that way, I just assumed everyone did. As I got older and would spend time at friends’ homes, I realized that not everyone handles conflict that way.
When I think of “the apple never falls far from the tree” I really see it as a starting point. It can give us insight as to why we believe what we believe. With that insight we can begin to observe and challenge some of our faulty ways of thinking. And by the way, if you have some faulty ways of thinking, chances are, whoever you got them from, learned it from someone else.
How did your childhood shape your beliefs/traits? What did you grow up believing was normal? Do those beliefs make sense as an adult and compatible with who you want to be as a person?
You have an opportunity to break unhealthy patterns and ways of thinking. Chances are the adults in your life when you were a child had some patterns they broke, too. The cycle can break, and you can teach your children different.
You can determine who you are. You aren’t stuck being like your family if you don’t want to be.
