When someone shows you how they feel about you, believe them. Yes, you want to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was unintentional. But when they continue to hurt you and after you’ve told them how much it hurts you, believe that they mean to do it.
If they know that they hurt you and continue to do so anyway, you need to start looking at your response to the situation. You need to ask yourself why you are okay with continuing to engage with someone who clearly doesn’t care if they are upsetting you or hurting you. Why are you continuing to put yourself in a situation where someone doesn’t value you like they should?
For some of us, we can actually become addicted to this kind of crazy making in a relationship. We just might be going to the circus because sometimes the person who continues to hurt us, also offers us inconsistent understanding and praise. And when they give us what we want from them, we feel so much better. We constantly chase this inconsistent reward. This kind of behavior is similar to gambling addiction.
If this sounds like a situation you are in, the key to fixing it is working on your self-worth. Someone else getting us doesn’t define us. Their praise or acceptance of us isn’t what makes us a worthwhile person. You are worth so much more. Once you start seeing the value you already have, the harder it will be to stay around people who don’t see it.
