Showing up for yourself and being your own best friend is good self-care. The most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves so we need to know how to parent ourselves when we need it.
One of the most important skills we can learn is how to build resiliency. Facing challenges allows us to develop our own resiliency. Only in overcoming these challenges can we learn that we actually can overcome them and how incredibly resourceful we are.
Here are some ways you can build your resiliency:
1.) Validate your experience and struggle. What you’re going through is not easy and it’s understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed right now. Anyone would in your shoes.
2.) Identify where you are already resilient. Think back to tough times you have encountered in your past and how you got through them. You already have some resilience.
3.) Change how you look at difficult situations. Difficulties are challenges, nothing more. They aren’t a paralyzing event where you cannot recover from it. This is where you may have to use positive affirmations to get yourself in the right mindset. For me, when I am feeling discouraged, I literally tell myself over and over again that “I got this” and “I haven’t come this far, to only come this far.”
4.) Don’t catastrophize. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and think the worst in a situation. But let’s face it, catastrophizing is ineffective and does nothing to help you feel like you can handle the situation. If you start catastrophizing, catch yourself and question it. If you lose your job today, are you really never going work again? Know that you are resourceful and that this door closing is so that a better one can open.
5.) Accept that failure happens. Failure is experience and it is going to happen. Don’t be someone who avoids failure at all costs. The experiences we have allow us to grow. Know that what you are going through is an opportunity for you to grow and be open to it.
6.) Know your purpose. You are here for a reason. You matter. Internalizing this can help you feel more grounded and aware that these hurdles in front of you are just challenges you will meet. Even if you feel like you do not have a purpose, I promise you if you dig deep enough you will find one. Sometimes people go through a trauma or battle addiction, get through it and pay it forward to others in an authentic way that really helps people. That is invaluable. Think about drug counselors. Many drug counselors were once addicts. And because of their experience as an addict and a someone in recovery, they can relate to others and reach them in a way someone who wasn’t an addict could.
Think back to times of crisis in your life. What are three ways you have shown your resilience?
