When we spend too much time talking with people who agree with us, we create an echo chamber for our own beliefs. And this fuels confirmation bias.
One of my favorite memories as a teenager was having philosophical debates with my grandmother. She was a teenager during the depression and boy did we have different views on some things! It’s funny though, because as an adult I align more with her outlook and philosophy on life. And even now as an adult, I love chatting with people who have different opinions than me. My husband and I regularly have long philosophical debates on things we don’t agree on.
I find that one of two things happen when I talk with people I disagree with:
1.) I become more confident in my own position.
Or
2.) My beliefs are challenged, and I learn something new. That fuels a whole new curiosity for me, and I want to learn more, and I see things from a new perspective.
What is worrisome is our current political climate because it feels like we are becoming less tolerant of other people’s views. And I get that there are a lot of issues happening today that are very emotionally fueled for all of us. I feel passionate about a lot of things that are happening, too.
So how can we be productive when chatting with someone who we don’t agree with, especially when they are a close friend or family member?
Here are some tips to help you communicate more effectively with those close to you who have differing opinions than yours.
1.) Go into the conversation truly appreciating the value of diversity and an open mind. Develop a sense of curiosity when speaking with others, not judgment. Know that people are entitled to their own opinions and feelings on things and that they are just as valuable as yours, even when you don’t agree on something.
2.) Be respectful when voicing your own opinion and keep your focus on the actual issue not on things that are personal. Avoid making generalizations about people, their intent and avoid personal insults – they are completely unnecessary.
3.) Keep your sense of humor and if you really don’t agree on any point in the issue, you can at least find one common ground that you share. If you are having trouble finding common ground that you share, you can at least agree that you are both very passionate about the issue.
4.) Validate the other person’s view and focus on the things you do come together on. Have mutual respect for each other’s views and agree to disagree when necessary.
