We tend to replay feelings of guilt and wish we had made different choices or said certain things to someone. Likewise, we tend to focus all our worries and anxiety on things that haven’t even happened yet, and likely won’t even happen at all.
It’s human nature to time travel. We tend to focus our thoughts on our feelings of guilt and anxiety, perhaps hoping that by doing so, it will somehow change how we feel about it or an outcome. But we only have that kind of control in the present.
First, let’s take a look at how we can stop feeling guilty about the past.
1.) Accept what has happened. What happened, happened and the only thing we can do about it now is to change our thoughts and/or behavior going forward.
2.) Make amends if necessary. If you wronged someone, own it and make amends. While you can’t control how someone may receive your apology, apologize anyway if you feel that you should. Admitting that we did something hurtful or wrong can start the healing process for not just the person you hurt, but for you, too.
3.) Think about what you have learned and what you might do differently now. We make mistakes so we can learn from them and become better people. Think about what you know now. How would you handle things today?
4.) Understand what is really at the root of your guilt. What is driving your feelings of guilt? Do you feel guilty about something because of your own high expectations of yourself? Is why you are feeling guilty reasonable and fair?
5.) Be gentle with yourself. If a friend were in your shoes and feeling guilty, what would your advice be? Would you remind them that they are human, make mistakes and can learn from this?
If you find yourself really struggling with overcoming guilt from your past, talk to someone about it. Whether it’s a trusted friend or family member or therapist, often times they can offer us a perspective of what happened that we normally wouldn’t see.
If you are struggling with feeling anxiety about the future, think about it like your sitting in a rocking chair. Sitting in a rocking chair and rocking back and forth will give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere. It’s the same thing with worrying about the future. You can worry about it all you want but doing so isn’t going to change anything that happens.
Here are some things to remember when feeling anxious about the future:
- When you worry about the future, you are paying interest today on a debt you may never owe.
- 99% of what we worry about happening in the future never happens.
- You have the ability to adapt to anything that comes your way.
- Stop worrying about what could go wrong and start thinking about all that can go right.
- Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.
- Worrying is like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain.
- Feelings of anxiety happens when we feel like we have to have all the answers.
- Worrying is using your imagination to create things you don’t want.
- Worrying doesn’t change anything.
