Shakespeare said that “expectation is the root of all heartache.” Things in life have the meaning that we attach to it. And often times, we have some kind of idea or outcome that we want to see happen in our relationships. What messes us up and makes us unhappy are the expectations that we put on ourselves, others and outcomes.
What does it mean to have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing? It all starts with you and your own beliefs in your ability to be okay no matter what happens. It’s confidence that the Universe is unfolding as it should and that each situation that you are faced with is an opportunity to grow from. Therefore, it is actually a benefit to you to be open to everything and not attach yourself to anything.
Let’s take a look at ways you can begin to embrace this concept.
1.) Embrace change and see the experience as something that will help you along your journey. Maybe the change that is happening is something you don’t like at all. Instead of dwelling on it and thinking about the negative, think about it as a data point. Maybe this data point has helped you understand yourself more or what you do and do not like.
2.) Reframe how you see what is happening in your life. Tony Robbins says, “What if everything in your life, including the most painful and traumatic events, was happening for you, not to you?” If everything is happening to you, it can feel powerless. But if everything is happening for you, it is an opportunity for better understanding and growth. It is a more empowering mindset.
3.) Understand why you are attached to the outcome. Sometimes our own insecurities are hidden in our desired outcomes for a situation. For example, if I am feeling insecure about my relationship with my significant other and I want him to do something (the outcome) that will soothe my insecurity, I have just made myself dependent on something external for me to feel better about myself. That’s not good for me and it isn’t good for my relationship because it isn’t his job to “make me” feel secure about myself. By understanding your real motives, you can begin to unpack what is really driving the desire for a specific outcome and you can focus on addressing the issue within yourself.
4.) Build a good support system. When life doesn’t go as expected, having a strong support system can make all the difference. Having people you can support during times of crisis and who can be there to help you through your own crisis can help with acceptance of what is happening. And when you have that acceptance, you can grow from it.
5.) Be gentle with yourself. Letting go of beliefs of how things should be is not easy. Trusting that you will be okay no matter what happens is easier said than done at times. Make sure you are kind to yourself through the process and practice self-care.
6.) Get excited. When you open yourself up to everything, something magical happens. It’s like the Universe knows you are ready to experience something positive. How many times have you heard someone say that if they hadn’t taken a small step out of their comfort zone, something big would have never happened? By opening yourself to everything, anything is possible.
Here’s my challenge for you. What if you decided that just as a little test, for the next five days you are going to have zero expectations and be open to the world and all its possibilities with every single person you encounter? Would your loved ones feel more accepted by you? Would you be happier with how you are expressing love and support to those around you?
